Being an Indian gangster in Malaysia is not a challenging task and if you follow the guide prepared by Bro Durai of ragedindian.com which you can find here, the very next day you are 70% qualified to be an Indian gangster. However, do not forget that in order to achieve the balance 30%, you will need to go through one of the hardest challenge in your life, even harder than learning the English language itself, which is to master the Malaysian Indian gangster language.
Yes, you are right. There are few criterias which differentiate a gangster and a normal Machan. You see, the least requirement in order to be an average Machan is passing your SPM, as in you have completed your secondary studies. As for being a gangster, there is no such thing as a minimum requirement but the maximum requirement is for you to NOT pass your SPM (NOTE: I am not referring to those who are living below the poverty line and unable to study due to their condition. The previous line merely refers to those ‘sakai‘ or ‘thaduthale‘ type of kids).
So, back to the topic. Before we move forward, please ensure that you have:
- Bought a side bag and currently wearing it
- Bought a yellow-black striped shirt and currently wearing it (belang-belang shirt)
- Bought a fading-type of jeans and currently wearing it (preferably Black in colour)
- Lifted up your collar. Yes, wearing the belang-belang shirt without lifting up your collar is akin to using the internet without logging in to Facebook. This is a MUST if you want to be a certified Indian gangster.
- As for shoes, you may rather wear sandals as no one will bother to look at your shoes anyway.
So, here are some of the BASIC words that you would need to master before stepping into the world of Indian gangsters. I can’t deny the fact that there are plenty of other words as well but these are considered as the ‘entry requirements’.
Do not ever attempt to address another gangster as ‘BRO’ and not a single English word should come out from your mouth. If you did, then you are in a deep shit (You might be bombarded with: unneke enna, velekaren punde nu nenuppa?). The word ‘bang’ was derived from the Malay word ‘Abang’ which literally means ‘Brother’. If you have known the person that you are addressing for quite some time, you may want to use ‘bange‘ instead. For hardcore gangsters, they have their own slang in which they would make the word ‘bang’ to sound like ‘vang‘.
- Enna bang?
- Ille bang
- Lek panungge vang
Budak in Malay means ‘Kid’. However, in the world of Indian gangsters, the word is used to refer or ask someone to which mande he is ‘reporting’ to. For some, ‘Budak’ can also be used to refer to kaigels.
- Nee enna, ‘Maire Makkez’ ode budak va?
- Eeeeeeeiiiiii, naa yarode budak nu teriyoma?? (when a fight happens)
Lari means ‘run’ but for Indian gangsters, the word has a total different meaning. You can’t use that word as a standalone but it has to be accompanied with a few other Kata Kerja words. If you are about to pick up a fight with someone, it would be best if you could pick any of the following three sentences and pour it out to any kids randomly, irregardless if the actual situation really took place.
- Unnode pandang lari
- Unnode pechi lari
- Unnode nade lari
An alternative way of picking up a fight with a random person would be to accuse him of being a ‘paruppu’. To date, no one could come up with a logical explanation on how a ‘paruppu’ could be associated with being someone who claims to be a mande and/or showing off that he is, well, indeed a paruppu. Synonym: Pulithi.
- Nee enna periya paruppa?
- Avenekku periya paruppe nu nenuppu
If someone is talking shit to you, such as accusing you of being a douchebag or asking you to rather be in the kitchen then claiming to be a mande, then that is when the word ‘lebih’ comes into place. Although the word is spelt as ‘lebih’, you should always pronounce it as ‘lebeh‘. Synonym: Kurang ajar.
- Unnode pechi lebih ya irukke
- Enna varthe ellam lebih ya pothu?
When a 14 years old kid complains to you that a standard 5 kid of a different school had beaten him up, that is when you would ‘turun‘ to the school to settle the matter. You can’t turun to a wedding dinner nor turun to a birthday party but you can always turun to a place just for the sake of ending up in the hospital.
- SMK M1 le parucheneiya.. turun kudepoma?
- Aven area le turun panni avene tukerrom!
Nope, this is not the normal Jalan Bukit Bintang or Jalan Chow Kit that you are thinking. Jalan here refers to ‘which group you belong to’. So basically, your jalan might be 48, 32, 983, 5920, you name it. In order to pick up a fight with someone, you should know in advance to which jalan he is in. If he is the same jalan as you, then it is morally wrong to pick up a fight with a member within the same group. If he is of a superior jalan, then you are better of keeping your mouth shut rather than bragging on how great your jalan is. ‘Jalan’ here can also be referred to as ‘agreeing to something’. So, If another kaige of yours invites you to a gay orgy session, then you should jalan all the way!
- Dei, yenthe jalan da nee?
- Nambe anytime jalan than machan..
As mentioned before, there are plenty of other words out there but if you could master the above words, then you are probably in the beginner level of being an Indian gangster. Basically, the trick here is that you may just have to mix and match a few Malay words in your sentences and immediately you will get an attention. If you use some new Malay words in your sentences in which none of the other gangsters had used before, the chances of you being recognised is higher and those words would be popularized automatically, thanks to you.
To those wannabes, good luck in becoming an Indian gangster. See you soon in jail.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
VIKNESWARAN G. @ MAKKEZA system administrator by profession and a freelance web designer by nature. If any of my articles seem to be offending to you, feel free to drop me a message via my Facebook Profile. Those who wish to keep in touch, may also contact me via Facebook. Sekian, terima kasih.
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